Don't Try This Alone: The Silent Epidemic of Attachment Disorder Paperback – February 28, 2018

I have been seeing therapists for over 5 years, and my most recent one around 4. Only within the last few years did I begin to "trust" her in a way that lead to the realization that my father was a narcissist, my mother has traits and severe mental issues of her own to the point where I experienced severe trauma as a child/adolescent/adult and attachment issues as a result. Once the trust began was I able to begin processing my trauma in a safe way and oh boy then did the pain really begin. I went through literally everything Kathy describes in the book- the knife-like agony, the terror, the pleading, the begging, the grief, and the relief, not to mention repeats of the entire cycle which still repeat to this day. The most significant difference however is that along the way I have earned myself an "earned secure attachment" to my therapist whom I love dearly and always will. When my cycle repeats, rather than needing to reach out to her right away, I feel her inside me as long as I feel safe enough to reach out to her. This is the beauty of relationship. I also feel the spontaneous bursts of gratitude for my therapist, and relief when I realize I am "free" and my life is my own and I am safe enough and have enough self worth to just exist in peace.The one (teeny) criticism I have is that I wish she had touched on shame more. I experienced almost the exact same emotions she did, and I cried almost the entire way through, but I wish she had mentioned that the shame of the pain of being "defective" enough that your parents didn't love you is also extremely strong and hard to break through. Though I no longer experience it, I did earlier in my journey and it was a big part of it. I would have loved to see her take on it. Loved the writing style and I can't recommend this book enough. It really changed me to feel so understood and heard even though I have read as much psychology on this stuff as she herself has. Just knowing someone else has felt the same as me is profound. I started reading it last night, and finished it this morning. Thank you Kathy for sharing your story.

I was motivated to read this book because of what I have suspected are adult attachment issues that have caused me to lead a diminished, dissociated life. Kathy and I are kindred spirits in many ways relating to our attachment trauma. What I like about this book is we walk side-by-side with Kathy as she explores her trauma(s), which began very early in her life, perhaps before birth. Her description of events with her parents as well as many of the relationships with men, including a marriage of nearly 30 years, are extremely relevant to being able to show how each event and relationship affected her in some deeply traumatic ways. Parts of the book were difficult for me to read, and I kept on reading after a taking a break. Because of her past history, the relationship with her sister, Linda, is a delightful surprise. The recovery she does via The Grief Recovery Handbook is one of the hearts of this book. This took a lot of discipline on her part. I also love her stories about her therapy sessions with a superb, very kind, understanding therapist. He really "got Kathy" and where she was coming from. Especially the last therapist she had (I hope I remember this correctly, that it was her last therapist). For all her attachment trauma et al, Kathy appears to be very loved by her wide circle friends. Very glad I found this book several years ago. It took me until a month ago to actually buy the Kindle version and start reading it. So glad I did. I've been able to use Kathy's insights about the sources of her traumas and apply them to my own life. Many A-Ha! moments for me..."now I understand WHY that person affected me that way...and why I still get triggered through no fault of my own". If you know or suspect you have attachment trauma, I highly recommend Kathy's book.

I found this book incredibly painful to read.The reason, of course, was because I could relate to the author so deeply.However, I have a very different ending. Therefore, I am really not sure what rating to give this book.There are those who are simply too frozen to unfreeze. Or who did unfreeze long ago ... and then were traumatized too deeply and too badly to ever unfreeze again.So ...

Kathy Brous has written this book from her heart and her soul. It is a personal peek at "Attachment Disorder", and it's impacts. As she states, "Who Nu?" She brings the reader into her personal and professional life, and the impacts of this silent epidemic on all of it. I was curious about this book, because it was written by someone I've never met, but who attended my high school. She graduated early to pursue academics, music, singing, and a professional business career. Me? Not so much! Although from the same community (for a period of time), we do not share common interests or talents, and yet the fact hat Ms. Brous was connected in a small way to my background, peeked my curiosity. I am so happy it did, for this book is well written, entertaining, tragic, hopeful, funny, and sad all in one breath, and connects across backgrounds . It is a page turner, with humbling facts, meaningful metaphors, dramatic life impacts, as well as offering a deep look at this silent epidemic that impacts many of us. Who Nu? I did not. But Ms. Brous explains it in a manner that has meaning ... describing her life as it relates to attachment disorder. She offers a story that transcends her talents, and is very palatable to the appetite for knowledge by the reader. It is difficult not to admire the authors many areas of talents and competences, as you read about her questions and realizations concerning attachment disorder. For example, is so interesting to read of the impact her music and singing has on her coping. The focus on this epidemic is on virtually every page of this 'page turner', and well worth the read. I now look back at what has impacted my life, and say ... "Who Nu?" I will try to figure it out as well. I highly recommend this book.

As an elder male in trauma therapy I was interested in Kathy's process/progress through the various layers of body/mind. What a wild ride she has been on. Very inspiring for those of us who tend to be solitary, and who may think trauma is a quick fix. Thanks for this book Kathy and your incredible website. Keep on healing

Quite a good read, the writer has in a sense diagnosed herself which is interesting