What Remains: A Memoir of Fate, Friendship, and Love

I overlooked this book originally because I'm definitely not a "real housewives" fan. The few times I have watched the show, I've wanted the 60 minutes back so I can do something constructive with my life. I was more interested from the Carolyn Bessette Kennedy angle. Plus I am Carole Radziwill's age and I grew up with a mother who idolized Jackie Kennedy.I hardly ever write reviews but this book was so moving that I felt compelled to do so. Anyone who has lost someone suddenly or fought cancer will appreciate this book. But there's so much more to this book. It's a story of love and loss, working hard and fighting hard.This is why I like this book:1. It's a Cinderella story, and who doesn't love Cinderella stories? The bride was not unattractive, but by her own admission, she was not model material. As with most Cinderellas, she had no pedigree and her family was solidly middle-class. But unlike most formulaic Cinderella stories, it appears there was no Grand Recognition when they met for the first time while they worked on a project together for ABC. Carole even dubbed them most likely to not do anything together in the future and noted their many differences: neat night owl versus messy morning person, for instance. But over time he fell in love with her brains and personality, which was another reason to cheer her on and to love the story. The respect he had for her smarts --he trusted her with his life and she handled every aspect of his medical treatment-- is evident in their story.2. I understand biographies are self-centered by nature, but I generally find most "celebrity" stories, whether in book or interview form, tiresome to read. There's much humble-bragging about their "problems." to which most of the human race cannot relate, interspersed with a constant thread of I'm-so-wonderful. ( Gwyneth and Julia, anyone?) Carole's writing style is self-effacing and honest. She weaves a story of how fortune, both good and bad, has worked in her life and in the lives of others.3. I left this book with complete admiration of her writing. The story itself is heartbreaking. Over a very short time period she endured unimaginable losses. Her closest friend and her husband's closest friend died in a plane crash. Her husband's death from cancer followed three weeks later . Her husband's death was somewhat expected, but losing Carolyn and John Kennedy was not. How one would experience it, let alone write about it, I can't imagine, yet she does it in a way that is neither self-aggrandizing nor self-pitying. (And there is plenty of reason for self-pity, IMO.) She candidly recounts how illness and cancer strained her and her husband to their limits. She presents their struggles with illness and death in a realistically heart-breaking way. It kept my attention.4. Plenty has been written about Carolyn Bessette Kennedy as a coke-addled, brainless bimbo fashionista. In Carole's story, we see another side of CBK. Carole makes the case convincingly that Carolyn was a funny, delightful and loyal friend.5. The timeline is logical. Flashbacks should only be done if one is a skilled writer or has a skilled ghost writer. Christina Haag's novel jumped between time periods and it wasn't well done and I found it distracting. In addition, Haag's book was a yawner and I didn't finish it. Carole's novel starts with a dispassionate discussion of the plane crash, then to her Cinderella wedding. She goes back to spend a little time on her childhood and her close Italian family, then she discusses how her life intersected with Anthony and where they went from there. The book ends with a return to the plane crash, but by this time you've gone full circle and you see the emotional impact: she and Anthony were the second people to know John's plane had not arrived at the destination; she had to put the pieces together; she was the one who notified the Coast Guard and started the notification process to the family. Anyone who's had one of those calls late at night can relate to the anguish she and her husband must have been feeling.As an aside, I had a neutral/no opinion of the Kennedys prior to this book, but my opinion of them was not improved after reading this book. After John junior's sudden death, they circled the wagons and treated anyone who wasn't a blood relation callously. Two days after the crash Carole planned to go to a meeting with the Kennedys to discuss what to do about a funeral. She was going at the behest of Carolyn Bessette's mother. (Carole's husband Anthony was presumably too sick to attend.) Carole writes it was "gently explained" by the Kennedys that she, Carole, was not welcome to attend. She ultimately did not make the meeting due to a late plane, but she learned the Kennedys first wanted to bury John alone in the family plot and not include his wife Carolyn. (All three, Carolyn, John and Lauren Bessette, were ultimately buried at sea.) And while Caroline Kennedy, John Junior's sister, was close to Anthony, this hospitality was not extended to his wife.tldr: If you are interested in the Radziwills/Kennedys, you'll want to read this book. It's moving and well done.

I purchased this book 11 years ago and just reread it. It is heartbreaking and life affirming all at the same time! I can’t imagine the pain Carole went through, but she shared the pain and the times of fun and joy in a wonderful way—an easy read and I totally recommend it!

I found this book worth reading. It is a book that, for me, got better the more I read it. I did not enjoy the first part of the book. I felt like it was disjointed and jumped around too much, and I also found some of her stories from her childhood to be oddly disturbing and not in the way I think she meant them to be. She is a cynical person, which is understandable with all she's been through, but she was very cynical at an early age. When she was young, she viewed others whom she saw affected by death with disdain, later labeling them all as "tragedy whores", "voyeurs" and "emotional rubberneckers." She never views their emotion as being genuine and writes she "hated them" and still does. She revealed more intensity in her emotion about those girls mourning a death in seventh grade than she does about her husband. Throughout the book I have a feeling that she doesn't connect with people, and that may explain why she shows disdain for people who do. Tragic events affect people differently, but as a 12-year-old she seems to have believed that people who weren't as detached from feeling as she was were just milking tragedy for their own benefit. That is way too cynical for me. It is also odd and ironic to hear coming from someone who wrote and then sold a book about tragedy.The book did get better the more I read, and I'm glad I kept reading it. There was a detached feeling to the entire book, however, that left me feeling empty. That is what remained after reading her book - a very empty feeling. I never could detect any passion that Carole felt for her husband Anthony. I could certainly feel her devotion to him. And affection at times. But no passion. And yet one of the few times she seemed to be able to express passion involved a very brief meeting she had with a reporter overseas while she was in grad school. The contrast between the way she talked about that one encounter vs. the way she talked about her husband was very stark and disconcerting. The way she describes her relationship with Anthony makes it appear to be more one of companionship than of one of love. They seemed to have two things in common - ABC and fighting cancer. I didn't find her to be particularly appealing as a person, which I think is because she came across as so detached, even as a child. With good autobiographical books, you connect with the writer. That did not happen for me ever with this book. But I found a lot of her story to be very interesting and even profound at times. I respect her drive, and I want to believe that she and Anthony were in love, having found each other after growing up in very different worlds. I also deeply respected his drive, and I thought she did a great job conveying what a fighter he was. He is a man who wanted to live and who kept living life to the fullest even as he suffered immensely.Of course, I also found her discussions of the Kennedys to be interesting. However, she wrote with more affection about John Kennedy and Carolyn Bessette than she did about her husband or her own family, and that was a little creepy at times. She gushed about each of them, especially Carolyn, with an intensity she didn't show when writing about her husband. But she also provided interesting insights into John's and Carolyn's relationship and seemed to genuinely love them. Her relationship with Carolyn, while sweet and supportive, was also quite juvenile and high school-feeling, most notably in the way they talked to each other and the games they played. It seemed as though Carole became instantly infatuated with Carolyn after meeting her once. This struck me as odd, especially considering the fact Carole doesn't write about any other friends in her life in her book. As for her feelings about Caroline Kennedy, I thought her judgment of Caroline showed a revealing lack of perception on Carole's part. Caroline is an intensely private person, for good reason. It is logical that she would be protective of her only sibling and of her family. It is also understandable that, as a child of Jackie O, Caroline might find Carole and Carolyn quite off putting at times. Carole was never able to remotely grasp that, however. But Carole's description of the events surrounding the plane crash that killed John, Carolyn and Lauren Bessette was quite compelling. I cannot imagine (and never want to be able to imagine) the horrific losses she experienced with the plane crash so unexpectedly coming just as her husband was on the verge of losing his incredibly intense war with cancer they had waged their entire marriage and he had waged for a decade.I don't know if Carole Radziwill's background in broadcast journalism is what caused her to be so detached from people and from her life in this book. And maybe her detachment is what led her to a career in broadcast journalism in the first place. Reading this book you got the feeling she was reporting it, like she was producing a segment from her days at "Peter Jennings Reports." There were interesting stories that she "reported," including little tidbits like her description of Tipper Gore's interesting mother, but it felt more like segments of her life pieced together - almost like an objective third party was writing it as opposed to someone who lived it and felt it with any passion. There was a disconnect that was there from the beginning that never really went away. I agree with another reviewer who said that maybe she wrote the book too soon after the tragedies she suffered, although I think it is very likely has a lot more to do with her personality than it does with her timing. Her descriptions of her mother (which never give you an understanding of her) early in the book may give greater insight into her detached personality than anything else. I'm glad I read the book, but it did not affect me the way I thought it would. The unthinkable tragedies Carole experienced remind me to appreciate life each and every day, but her detached and cynical nature remind me how important it is to connect with the people in your life. As an aside, after finishing her book I read that she signed on to participate in the reality TV series, "The Real Housewives of New York." I have to admit that I found that odd. I also read she has a net worth of $50 million, so she's not going on that show because she is desperate for money. I have never seen that show, but I may watch to see how my perception of her from reading this book fits with or differs from how she is on reality television.

Having watched Carole in RHoNY and finding her one of the most calming of the cast. On hearing of her close links to the Kennedy/ Radziwill families, I was keen to read this book to discover more and understand how being part of such a high profile dynasty felt and still feels years on.

Beautifully written and a gorgeous tribute to 3 lives list way too young. Everyone should read this book.

.. this is one way to find out more about the enigmatic and lovely Carole Radziwill. I read this really quickly because she writes so well. It grips from page one through to the end. You know, you've watched TRHNY, what happens but how it happens, what she feels about it is all there in detail. I loved this book.

Book in first class condition, fast delivery and good price! Thank you

A well written book about beauty of female friendships, this though heartbreaking (tears shed for author who lost her husband, girlfriend and her husband who was a relation/Freind! This booked shows how life can change so dreadfully. A follow up would be great as though time heals it must be tough!!! This book will make you laugh,cry, think! Great to be read in one session