The Smart Stepfamily: Seven Steps to a Healthy Family

Have used this publication for 16 years facilitating a stepfamily life class at our church. Bought this one because we gave away our last copy. It's based on years of research by Ron Deal. If it's taken seriously and applied, it works!

It is god centered which takes a lot of objectivity out of the matter.It is all around marriage, and not the actual quality of the relationships.It portrays a very dramatic and dark outlook, and I don’t find it useful for couples like mine, that are working out just fine and we just want to enhance our experience and set ourselves up for future success

I am reading several stepfamily books in an effort to start a stepfamily support group at our church. I obviously would like to use a Christianity based study book to help with discussion, but like some of the other reviewers, I was unaware that this book was so steeped in Bible verses and religious theory. I am continuing to read the book because I want to have a good cross section of literature to recommend, but the feeling I have so far is that because Ron Deal has never been in a stepfamily, it is difficult for him to truly understand some of the dynamics that occur. It is "warm and fuzzy" to say that everyone's perspectives need to be shared/heard and that seems good in principle, but isn't always healthy in reality. In my opinion, having been part of a "not so blended" family with kids aged 14-26 when we married seven years ago, the most important thing a married couple can do is put forth a united front when it comes to the children, no matter what their ages. A couple must put their relationship above all others (including their relationship with their children) to develop a healthy stepfamily dynamic. Otherwise, the children are allowed to call all the shots from the sidelines, derailing any attempts to become a solid family unit. There need to be uniform standards and expectations for all children and they need to be clearly expressed. Allowing the children to continually state how they feel about every situation is not necessarily the best method to develop a home that is a place of relative peace for everyone. I will revise my review if needed after finishing the book, but it seems evident so far that the author's perspective is affected by his lack of personal stepfamily experience. It is a dynamic that is almost impossible to understand if you haven't lived it.

My husband and I felt called to lead a Life Group at our church regarding step-families. I searched for a book that would address this topic, and came across this one. Glancing through the pages, I could tell this book addressed many of the issues step-families face. So I made this our group's reading material. But it wasn't until I read the whole book prior to the class that I realized how perfect this book really is for step-families. Many of the issues my husband and I are battling in our own home were addressed in real world ways, and not sugar coated to be made unrealistically holy. Integrating a step-family can be messy work, and is not a quick process. There are too many variables to expect a nice, neat in-the-box solution. I love how this book nixed the idea of a "blended" family, and instead reintroduced step-families as "crock pot families" - a slow-cooking process to make two families into one, yet still consisting of separate, unique ingredients. Ron Deal offered multiple family styles and situations, and realistic solutions to be practiced over time. I feel like I understand our family dynamic so much better after reading this book, and I can't wait to lead our Life Group with these teachings as our guide. Even more exciting, I can really see this becoming a future ministry in our church to reach other families who may be struggling as we have (and still are). It's important for every step-family to realize they are not outside God's plan, and there is hope for peace within their home even if it seems hopeless.

This book is excellent. If you’re religious or not, you can’t deny good information. You were created by a creator. Why not let your creator tell you the best way to do things. Ron Deal and his wife are the real deal. Their testimony will break you. I’ve shared information from this book at multiple conferences. It really breaks my heart to see the one star reviews from people simply because they aren’t Christians. If a Christian made a similar comment about a book written by a Muslim because they used Islamic concepts they would be banned from Amazon.

This is the absolute BEST resource for anyone in a step family or who is GOING to be in a step family. I have been a step mom for four and a half years now. I took classes before my remarriage, I read books on step families, I've joined online support groups; but nothing has helped me like this book. Easy to read and understand, Ron Deal presents the different issues step families face and solutions in a manner that is both to the point and encouraging. He puts first priorities first (relationships with God and spouse), telling why such things are important, and he offers different scenarios he has encountered as his years as a counselor. This book gave me practical, easy-to-use advice and at the same time helped me feel hopeful for my own future. I may have done some things wrong to start, but this book showed me how to take what I have and where I am now and use it to GO FROM HERE. This book helped me see the reality of my own situation -- I'm not alone, our problems are NOT all my fault and ARE solvable, things may never be perfect but can at least be good -- and better, this book helped me be okay with where I and my family are and what we can do to make everything the best it can be for everyone involved (even the ex-spouses!). A must-have for any step family or anyone who helps step families!!

This book changed my life. It showed me so much that I was not aware of but desperately needed to be. It gave me so many tools to help me navigate this stepfamily experience. There are still some parts that I felt uncomfortable reading because I didn’t feel ready to change, or even ready to admit that maybe I’m doing some things wrong, so I’ll probably need to re-read this at some point when I’m ready to learn more.

Very helpful book in helping myself and my partner navigate the world of blended families and Step parenting. It's nice to have a guide and something to refer back to during those stressful moments of doubt.

Great book! Very helpful! If you are in a step family or are becoming on this is the most important book you can read!!!

I loved this book... Lots of practical help... Bought 2 friends this book as well..

Just starting it, but it is so heavy in religion it might be hard to get through. I don’t want to be told to put my faith in god, to guide me. I don’t want to talk about what scriptures have impacted me lately. As an atheist, I’m really stuggling with the BS. No where in the description or reviews I read does it say this book relies so heavily on faith.

A little simplistic and really not terribly helpful for those already well versed in psychology. Does not address the pathologies of the 'evil stepmother' who struggles to find her place or be understood (a topic not addressed in mainstream literature)