Ten Smart Things Gay Men Can Do to Improve Their Lives

I do like the fact that he does come up with ideas to help avoid addictive behaviors, ESPECIALLY sexual ones. I've had to avoid that myself. Also accepting yourself as a person is a great idea. I did find his writings a tad repetivie, almost freudian in manner. Though if one were to think about it, freud was big into sex. Mommmy and daddy can have a huge almost too large a control on your life if one is not balanced. My nix with this is that he often refers to a 'glb center' that does not exist for most gay men, especially in rural areas or cities that don't have this service. Might have been more helpful if he provided resources that can be contacted online, etc. I think he does though. Also I don't consider everything about gaydom or anything else of that matter 'beautiful' or 'wonderful'. I might like a chinese buffet, but not everything on it I would eat, though I can still love chinese food (and yes chinese people) and I apply to that to gaydom and other parts of my life. It does not make lesser or 'ill' if I don't accept all of it. I think the key here is balance and he does push that forward. As far as needing to find a partner, not sure on that one. Plenty of single folk doing fine there and some that may need to stay single to heal. And I think the author might point this out. Is this a good book, yes for a general guidelines, I'd would recommend it.

Despite what others on here have written in reviews on here I found this book to be amazingly helpful. I am 40 years old and the section on coming out may have benefited me more when I was younger but I still was able to learn from each chapter in the book.It has helped me to better understand myself and my interactions with others. Also, as much as I hate to admit it this book also helped me realize my own internalized homophobia and heterosexism.This has also helped me in my relationships with friends and others. I now can now understand how things in my past "shadows" creep in to current events. Realizing them and dealing with them in a different way has been very beneficial to me and the man I am dating.Having made mistakes in the past I am on a path to learning to being "A better man capable of living a better life and making emotionally healthy choices".I have purchased this book for friends and recommended it and "10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do To Find Real Love" to dozens of people.

I read this book a while ago and it inspired me to read some of Harville Hendrix' books. What struck me as oddly salient, though, about Joe Kort's book is the large number of people who seem to drop out of therapy with him and go on and self-destruct. Wouldn't that make one look at his approach skeptically? Could it be that the careful investigation of one's relationship with one's parents and its effects on later life is a psychological dead-end? That's both Kort's and Hendrix' approach. Kort's own book, if read critically, would suggest that maybe it is not helpful.This is not to say that I didn't get some interesting insights from Ten Smart Things. It's intriguing to think that your partner's complaints about you represent what you most need to attend to, and that you got into the relationship to address them in the first place. It's a useful thought because it reinforces commitment.However, psychology has taken a decidedly cognitive turn as of late. Pondering deep drives seems less useful now than attending to thinking. Perhaps more lives could be improved by reading Beck, Tannen, Seligman, Ellis, and Csikszentmihalyi than this volume. Of course, none of those authors looks as cute as Joe Kort. . .

In his book, "10 things....", Joe Kort successfully establishes 10 things all gay men need to be aware of, acknowledge, and follow. Using personal accounts from clients and himself, (he even goes as far as to admit when he was having relationship issues!), he clearly and simply illustrates how gay men can improve their lives, relationships and self-worth. If you are just coming out, or have been out and are looking for more in your life, gay guys, this is your book!

The catchy title must have been developed AFTER the book was thrown together. It reads as a collection of misc. snippets from the authors sessions describing his patients various problems. Kort rambles on & eventually you'll have to look back at the chapter start page to see what it was supposed to be about- Kort never leads to a valid summary in any chapter. So I read the book thinking that somewhere in all this verbage I'll eventually find 10 things to improve my life, but... there aren't any. Not only was it a waste of time & $, the book left me depressed after reading about all Kort's troubled clients. I shouldn't have bought & don't recommend it. It's poorly written & edited. There are no clear interesting / useful ideas presented.

a self-help book that is probably useful to young gay men trying to figure things out

What Dr. Joe lays out as a mature lifestyle surely should resolve many longstanding issues with being a gay man. Written in a caring and sometimes humorous manner, he lays out a whole system for healing deep-seated personal issues that affect our daily life and decision-making. It has definitely made a difference in my life!

Based on other positive reviews here on Amazon, I decided to buy this and Joe Kort's other '10 Smart Things' book. While this book was not as disappointing or unreadable as '10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do to Find Real Love', it did have the same ultimate problem of being full of pop psychology and quite lacking in good, practical advice, despite the title and the impression I got from other reviews. If you see this book in a brick and mortar bookstore, the best thing you can do is jot down the ten headings on the back cover, which by themselves are indeed pretty good advice, then go home and decide for yourself how to go about them.