How to be a People Person by Marianna Csoti (1991-04-09) Paperback

Marianna has managed to explain in very simple language the main points needed for fruitful human interactions in everyday life - both work & personal relationships. She has also pointed out many subtle yet important points (eg. thoughts, expectations, body languages, choice of words, tones, expressions, eye contact, body distant etc.) that is so common sense, yet often oblivious or ignored by most people. I've read many self-help books over the years & this book is one of my 'bible' book that I constantly come back to for self-reflection. My only wish is that the publisher will seriously consider having an electronic version (ebook) available in Amazon, which I would gladly pay for the convenience.

This book has helped me a lot. Having had a pretty isolated and difficult childhood and adolescence, I'd grown into an adult desperate to be accepted and yet isolated, unable to communicate effectively or be assertive. I simply didn't know how. Since reading this book, I've come to understand how to change from being passive to being assertive, and when to be aggressive. My fear of being isolated made me afraid to assert myself, to speak up. I stuttered, spoke hesitantly, head-bent... It was terrific to see all my behaviour described by a total stranger - so precisely - in this book! And to have passages and passages on how to fix it. I didn't even know there was a term for my behaviour ('passive' / 'passive-aggressive'). To know that there was a way forward...! It was very reassuring. 'How to be a people person helped me understand the methods people use to get what they want and how to win their respect and appreciation (and how to protect myself from bullying). I was refused promotion because of my inability to assert myself and to lead a team. Heck, as the book says, inability to communicate effectively is the biggest problem of the passive mind. The book tells me how to correct that and I think Marianna Csoti is one cool and fabulous human being for taking the time to write down her excellent tips. I'm applying them daily and feel really so much liberated and sure of myself where-ever the leaves may fall. I am me and proud to be...everyday. There's still a lot of work to do on me, but this book has given me a wonderful headstart.

good book.

The only saving grace of this book is that it is comprehensive - it covers a very wide range of social situations and tries to give concrete suggestions of what a person should say in each.But the advice is obvious at best (good for someone with the social development of an 8 year old) or fatuous or downright harmful at worst.And it's blatantly sexist. The author doesn't know how to use "they" correctly so uses "he" or "she" throughout. That's not terribly wrong, but the situations Csoti ascribes to "he" and "she" show a deep dysfunction in her relationship with men. For example to reassure a friend: "In men, this could be by teasing or patting them on the shoulder. In women, it could be by kissing and hugging on meeting" - so the advice is that men tease and women hug? Really?Also, in the section on bullying: "Suppose your boss often incorrectly implies you are late..." compare with "If a male colleague repeatedly makes racist and sexist jokes..." So the boss is gender neutral (good) but the racist suddenly is highlighted as male! Given that this book is clearly aimed at people with with low social development (it's too simplistic to be otherwise) these faux pas are highly dangerous. The book was written in 1991 which is too recent to be excused for "old fashioned" views.A truly awful book. Like other reviewers, mine will go to the charity shop to help reduce the number of people who have to buy a new copy.

This is one of the worst books I have ever had the misfortune of buying. A random collection of ideas poorly put together it leaves you wondering how the author convinced someone to publish something so poorly thought out and executed. Previous reviewer will take his to the second hand book shop, I wont be so heartless, mine is going straight to the trash!!