Irreparable: Three Lives. Two Deaths. One Story that Has to be Told. Paperback – March 31, 2020

1.Two wrongs don’t make a right. Part of the maturity of being an adult is that you have the discipline to recognize that just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. Infidelity is the path of least resistance and is unequivocally taking the easy way out. If you are having issues in your current relationship, do yourself and your partner a favor and address them head on. While problems in relationships are never black and white, solutions to problems are. Don’t reward bad behavior. Your relationship may survive your hardships or it may not, but shut down one relationship before you begin another that way you are entering into a new one with a clear conscious, mind and slate….your future self will thank you. As Mark Gerardot learned too little too late, we’re all human, but Mark, Jennair and Meredith all deserved better...more from themselves than from anyone else; Being in the “middle of a divorce” is also not the same thing as being divorced.2.Healthy, fulfilling relationships never just happen, they are conscious choices by both participants who contribute 100% each to making the relationship work long term. OF COURSE Meredith was appealing to Mark and Mark appealing to Meredith-their romance was new and they had only known each other for mere weeks. Everyone ALWAYS puts their best foot forward…In. The. Beginning.3.There is a BIG difference between “falling” in love and “being” in love. Falling in love is fresh, novel, interesting, exciting. Being in love is stable, familiar, safe, and yes…somewhat routine and predictable. To a person with a mature level of emotional intelligence, being in love is a very fulfilling thing, but to others, aka the Marks of the world, I see how he got bored with Jennair. The past is the best predictor of the future and based on results, it was only a matter of time before he would of become bored with Meredith or Meredith bored with him. See #4.4.Ever notice how relationships that are directly born out of infidelity (or whose foundations were/are built upon infidelity) never seem to last beyond the “honeymoon” phase? Save for their obvious rare end result, Mark and Meredith deserved better and more importantly, should of known better. If your paramour can cheat with you, they can just as easily cheat ON you. Everyone thinks their romance is the exception to the rule, but there is nothing virtuous about sleeping with or dating anyone that is a known cheater. You don’t get a gold star or prize in the end, you usually just get abandoned when their “high” wears off and they move on to their next fix. Require more of yourself and your integrity if you find yourself in this situation, cheater or cheated….you also don’t want your indiscretions blasted all over the local and national news.5.Mark and Meredith both possessed impulsivity character traits early on in their existing relationships and other aspects of their lives in general that should of made their decisions to cheat perhaps a surprise, but no shock. If your partner is somewhat flighty, restless, has cheated before (for every time you know about, there’s three times you don’t know about) is easily distracted, overly extroverted and accommodating, chilled physically in the bedroom, are “takers” or are chatty, endearing gift of gabbers with a sense of entitlement and poor impulse and boundary control, don’t be shocked if they stray. Recognize that your partner choosing to cheat has nothing to do with you and understand that almost all master manipulators have a charming, vulnerable side to them. Hello, #RedFlags.6.Self-worth, empowerment and independence should have been instilled in Jennair long before Mark Gerardot entered into her life. We reeeeallllly need to stop filling our little girls’ heads w/fairy tales and best case scenario and instead prepare them for the hard facts of life at age appropriate levels they will understand. Relationships sometimes just end, whether it be by death, divorce, betrayal, accidents, COVID, lightning bolts out of the sky, whatever, and little girls (and boys) need to recognize that it’s not the end of the world…..you WILL BE OKAY either way. It does happen and can happen to any one of us at any moment. You will be okay. All of the therapy and mental health resources in the world could not of prevented Jennair from resorting to this end result. No amount could of helped her see the light at the end of the tunnel. She couldn’t be saved, but others can. It starts early…condition self-worth YOUNG, like toddler young. As adults, you have no responsibility for what happened to you before, but you have 100% accountability how you respond to it now and time heals no wounds, it’s what you do within that time that make all the difference. Be honest with yourself and your situation, move on (begrudgingly if necessary) and find someone who wants to be with you, or move on to no one at all, but move on. The only thing worse than wasting 24 years of your life is 24 years + one day.7.It’s less about not trusting your significant other or even judging them on their past, it’s more about paying attention and keeping your eyes and ears open. Someone committed to their relationship is not going to (at least intentionally) put themselves in a situation that would reflect even the appearance of impropriety, much less impropriety. Mark seemed checked out long before he met Meredith, and if it wasn’t Meredith, it probably would have been someone else. If they have aspects of their lives that you are disconnected from, especially the workplace, or if they are always running off to the gym or any co-ed activities, recognize that those places are prime BREEDING grounds for infidelity. Also married and monogamous men: stop going to happy hours or any situation with non-biological females in non-group settings….just stop. One temptation begats another, and of course it always starts out innocently (riiiight). Flattery can be as dangerous as fire as Mark Gerardot learned, so just don't. Stay away from fire and you won’t get burned in the first place. #SMH8.Stop giving people the benefit of the doubt in life that have not earned it, and in order to be trusted in a relationship, you have to be trustworthy. Trust in relationships is something that is commanded, not demanded. Tracking devices and overthinking just make bad situations worse. See #9.9.Women need to stop over-analyzing why men do what they do…they are not difficult creatures to figure out. How they treat you is a direct reflection of how they feel about you, and if they are acting distant towards you, it’s not because they are stressed at work, are busy or are mourning the loss of recently deceased loved ones, it’s because there is a 99.999% chance it has nothing to do with anything other than the relationship you two share.10.Last but not least, TRUST. YOUR. GUT. Jennair had a gut feeling that something was off, specifically Meredith, and was gaslighted unmercifully as a result. It’s not rocket science-if something seems too good to be true too soon, it usually is. If something seems off or not quite right, it’s probably not. If they are telling you in one month’s time that they love you, chances are said “love” is more idealized projection then authentic. Life is trial and error and live and learn, but our intuition is the strongest tool we possess when it comes to any interpersonal relationship, and our feelings will always be valid. Don’t let anyone lead you to believe otherwise.I read Irreparable cover to cover in one sitting last night, and WHAT. A. BOOK. I can’t stop thinking about it and felt compelled to write this review. It is a raw, cautionary, true-story glimpse of what not to do in relationships, married or not. Irreparable provides insight into garden variety dysfunction, co-dependency and infidelity with an obviously catastrophic, rare and abhorrent end result, but also provides insight on why the average person cheats…something I recently discovered about one of my own past romantic relationships. I think we can all relate to Mark, Jennair and Meredith’s choices and this is a book everyone should read, single or not. Lessons learned Mark and ghost writers, I highly recommend Irreparable!!!!

I heard about this book after listening to the podcast Bad Bad Thing. This book is very well written and reminded me of an abusive relationship I was in about 30+ years ago. When you are finally free you can make impulsive and unwise decisions like a kid in a candy store. I also felt like "MEN DO THIS ALL THE TIME!" The fact that a woman snapped and killed is seen as exotic and book worthy since it doesn't seem to happen all that often. Aside from that I felt deep empathy for Jennair as I know women whose entire life and identity is being a Mrs. and I can relate to how scared and angry she must of felt being traded in for a younger model and worried that she may not be able to make it on her own. She had one hell of a mean streak and those can come from fear of abandonment. It most likely was a co-dependant hot and cold relationship and perspective unfortunately comes at the end of these things. I think this book is worth reading and sad as hell! I wish she had not been so black and white with her thinking and I wish Mark the best. Maybe this will serve as a warning to men that women can snap just like they can!

Well written, easy to follow, and hard to put down. I first saw the 20/20 episode and probably felt like many people. A cheating man and his poor wife. For some reason, I decided to read the book. There, I found myself in a totally different mindset.Before everyone gives the obligatory…you don’t know what it’s like or what if it was you, I’ve thought this through. I’m a woman married 33 years.My take on this. Mark was not a man “looking” to cheat on his wife. He simply found love elsewhere and the feeling was mutual. While I do feel for his wife, of course I do, I see her part in this. She was very, very controlling. She wanted him all to herself and alienated him from his family. Her world revolved around him. Yes, that is the sad part, but she succeeded for a time, to “keep” him in a relationship that he ultimately learned he wasn’t happy in after all. Yes, it took another woman for him to discover these feelings. So? There are plenty of couples who are not happy, divorce and find happiness with another. He should’ve been truthful? He was. Sure, maybe not in the very beginning, but I believe he wasn’t sure what he was feeling. Lust? Love? Guilt? He eventually told her he wanted out.His wife, rest her, would not be satisfied with that. Even as they agreed to go for therapy together and while being less than truthful with her own therapist, she continued with recording him and his every word. She had devices in his office, his jackets, and a tracking device on his car. She reached out to his job and the young lady’s husband. She transcribed every word, opened secret credit cards. It was the inner workings of a calculated and controlling woman. A woman against violence, law-abiding some say, bought and learned how to use a weapon and ultimately two lives were lost. He wanted a divorce. I don’t think even that would’ve stopped her. This was not an act of passion, it was planned and calculated. She wanted to do the thing that would hurt him most. She knew of the “affair“ and it was just too much for her. I sympathize with how she must have felt (I know what heartache feels like), but that is NOT a reason or excuse to murder someone in cold blood, in her own home. Imagine everyone who had ever been hurt, committing this type of crime.How is this any different from anyone who plans to separate or divorce? Would they be permitted to kill people because they were hurt? Did she have diagnosed mental illness? I don’t think so. She was a woman with a broken heart that developed into rage.And now…2 heartbeats lost. And a man has to live with this, just for feeling his feelings. I wish Mr. Gerardot peace and happiness in his life, as he will live with this forever.