What Do You Say After You Say Hello: Gain control of your conversations and relationships

Reading the first book "Games People Play" also by the same author, was a real game changer for me.I was told about Transactional Analysis, the process of understanding communication, by a management consultant used by my business, as a tool to understand where communication breaks down between management and employees/team members... But right away I noticed that this process actually turned a light onto my understanding of problems we experience with communicating with customers, which really did peak my interest and spurned me onto buying this book!So I delved deeper, and started to read "Games People Play", and with almost every page my understanding of human conversation improved by an insane amount.It has allowed me to instantly spot "No win" conversations (or games) very quickly during a conversation, rather than finding myself after these conversations wondering where I had gone wrong, or how the other person could not understand the logic I was trying to explain.It also helps with confrontations, either where the other person is being aggressive, but also identifying how my communication may be misinterpreted.This book continues with this work and further explains many situations and conversations, which explain quickly where the two people are positioned, what is really driving what they are saying, how those conversations can go wrong, but also how they could be improved and go well.The books also explain so many other parts of human nature, such as why sometimes when a someone will seem to be overly familiar we feel threatened, or even that the other person may have an alternative motive, but also why someone not showing us the usual amount of attention, may spark feelings of being shunned, rather than seeing the other causes and motives.We really are a mad bag of emotions and chemicals as a species, but this book and the previous one really do unlock secrets of communication, and put us back in the driving seat of being in control of how we express ourselves and deal with other peoples emotions and motives.Amazing book...Having an extensive collection of books on the subject of business, marketing and psychology, I would say that "The Games People Play", "What we say after we say hello" and "The Chimp Paradox" are three books I would recommend that anyone with a casual or serious interest in what drives people, should have on their bookshelf.

I'm currently studying transactional analysis and this is one of the texts that of course it's founder Eric Berne wrote.I wish I could write positive things about this book but I really can't - it's relevant in terms of the premise and there are parts which I have found useful but it such a difficult book to get into. The writing style is (in my opinion) overly pretentious, and as someone who is not un-intelligent, I often found myself reaching for a dictionary to understand what he was trying to convey... Also I personally did not like the comparisons with fairy tales, as for me this was unhelpful.I'd recommend "Games People Play" by Berne much more than this as that is written in a more easily digestible style and I've personally taken a lot more from that book.

If you want to communicate well and to understand yourself - and other people - better, you ab-so-lu-te-ly need to read Eric Berne (Games People Play, too)

Intriguing and well-written book. Good quality of book even when second-hand. Good value for money.

Bought for counselling study of transactional analysis: a staple text for this. Book size is a bit small for ease of reading, making it rather brick-like and hard to open. The pages are of poor quality paper, but then for the price, it's acceptable. Lower score for this rather than content.