If He Had Been with Me Paperback – November 1, 2019

Finn and Autumn were the best of friends until middle school. That's when they seemed to grow apart. Finn was with the popular crowd and Autumn was with the not-so-popular crowd. Their moms were still friends and they were still neighbors, so they saw each other most days. Autumn has Jaime now and they have been going out for practically forever. So what if she feels a pang in her chest when she looks at Finn. She's happy with her new friends and her new life...right?Love this book. This will most likely be my favorite for the year. Laura Nowling just gets it. Everything is just completely brilliant in this novel. The characters are totally great and the story is heartbreaking and just so honest. "I want to savour this wonder, this happening of loving a book and reading it for the first time, because the first time is always the best, and I will never read this book for the first time ever again." She also totally gets being a reader. It always draws me into the book when the character is a big reader too.Finn and Autumn were the best characters. I always wanted a friend like Finn. I wanted that kind of easy friendship where the line between two people is blurred. It was devastating to me to see them not together. I could feel the pull in Autumn's chest each time she saw Finn. Even though she was happy with her other friends and Jaime, she wasn't as happy as she could be. Her heart still wanted more. It crazy how such a small little thing could drive people apart without them even realizing why. A simple miscommunication and two lives are left incomplete. It's awful, but I'm sure it happens all the time.Jaime was an okay character. I think I loved Finn too much to really give Jaime a chance. It seemed a little bit mean at times, but nothing too bad. He just wasn't a good fit for Autumn's eccentricity. Their little group seemed to function like any group of friends and they all seemed to work okay together.The only bit that I wasn't crazy about is when we read Autumn's story that she wrote. She was supposedly this really wonderful author, but the story was fairly juvenile. It wasn't bad it was just kind of basic and plain.This book is everything I want my realistic fiction to be. Just beautiful and honest. I knew how it was going to end early one, you kind of know from the first few pages. Regardless, you are still wishing and hoping that the outcome isn't what it seems to be. It was awful in a good way--in a I don't ever want this book to end kind of way. It made me laugh, it made me bawl my eyes out, it made my chest hurt and it made me close the book and immediately want to pick it up and start from the very beginning. It made me feel everything as if it was my own story.First Line:"I wasn't with Finny on that August night, but my imagination has burned the scene in my mind so that it feels like a memory."Favorite Lines:"No one is perfect.""'I think we're supposed to experience as much beauty as we can.'""The icy wind burns through my gloves and my fingers ache until they fall numb and silent.""I can feel them in my mouth like three smooth pebbles."

If He Had Been With Me is an emotionally raw and beautifully written story that pulls you in with its nuanced characters and bittersweet exploration of love, friendship, and the complexity of growing up. Autumn and Finny’s relationship is both tender and heartbreaking, and their journey feels authentic and deeply relatable.The author’s ability to capture the quiet moments of longing and regret is remarkable, and I found myself completely immersed in the story. However, I felt the book would have been stronger without the final two chapters. While I understand their purpose, they felt overly dramatic and detracted from the subtle, poignant tone that made the rest of the novel so compelling.That said, this book is still an unforgettable read, and its emotional impact stayed with me long after I turned the last page. I would highly recommend it to anyone who enjoys deeply heartfelt stories with complex characters and meaningful relationships.

Favorite Quote: "This book is a treasure; I did notsuspect it would be so good when I picked it up, but now I can feel the printed words seeping through my skin and into my veins, rushing to my heart and marking it forever."I picked up this book from my never ending mental TBR stack to get a feel for it. I read so many mixed reviews and opinions about the book and I was a little afraid to commit. Turns out it was an easy read for me, Icouldn't put the book down: even in class and messing up my sleep schedule to read this book. As well as breaking me at midnight when I finished the last two chapters.Autumn and Finny kind of reminds me of my boyfriend and I and how we've known each other forever and started to like each other but still went into other relationships because we were afraid to talk to one another. I could kind of relate to Autumn as feeling like the "odd girl": only hanging out with your best friend and not expanding your circle. And I liked how the book had dual timelines of flashbacks Autumn had when her and Finn were younger. I also did wish Finn and Autumn had other interactions rather than a few slight interactions until towards the end. "If Only I Had Told Her" on my shelf and plan on reading it over winter break.A SPOILERSI didn't really like a few things, like how she always wore a tiara until Phineas told her it didn't matter what she wore towards the end of the story. As a person who has tons of crown and tiaras from being in "pageants" wouldn't want to wear them every day. And I didn't like the cheating aspects of the story; yes it happens but from the beginning Jamie was a RED flag***Overall, it wasn't that bad of read and a pretty fast read as well, if I had the time I would've devoured the book within like two days.