Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself by Melody Beattie(1905-06-08)

Very insightful and clear. I'm still reading it but already it has helped me to see how I operate and how to make small changes in my thinking and behaviour to improve my own quality of life. I'm delighted this book was recommended to me.

Excellent book, well written, helpful, plenty of Ah ha moments for me. I genuinely feel calmer about my circumstances and less angry about my choices. Less ashamed, less guilt driven. It might very well change my life. But only time will tell!

Overall, I loved her message of "it's okay", and when things are not okay, here's some things you can do about it. I liked her speaking up for the damaged amongst us, not in a pitiful, condescending way, but in a pragmatic, hopeful manner. But the content was very dense. I appreciate self-help books to be less essay-based, and structured more to facilitate a 'working-towards', piecemeal approach. I particularly admired her clarity in describing complicated feelings.

I downloaded this book after a split with a partner whom was an alcoholic. I'd never heard of codependency before reading this, and it really opened my eyes to a whole new world as it where. Interesting and insightful. Definitely helped me change bad habits and understand them too.

Clear and concise but heartfelt and loving with little jargon and helpful exercises. It felt like a hug and a chat with your biggest supporter.

Interesting reading, well written,it gives you an insight into relationship dynamics and dysfunctional families battling with co-dependency. When the distinction between individual and group is blurry, or when there are 'victims' might be a case of codependency.

Still the best book on Codependency. I first read it in 1999 with a shock of self-recognition. It's not exaggerating to say it changed my life. Now I am rereading it as my codependency is making my life a misery. Melody Beattie's insights are based on personal experience as well as therapeutic experience. Maybe that's why this book speaks to the heart not just the head. Awareness of codependency emerged from work with families of alcoholics and addicts but as the author points out, codependency is broader and more diffuse. It can arise from a range of situations such as having criminal offspring or growing up with needy and dysfunctional parents. The book helps you move beyond the craziness of trying to control others and take charge of what we do have power over: our own emotional wellbeing. It gave me the confidence that I can recover. If you find yourself living for or through others or taking on others' needs rather than looking after your own, this is the place to find help.

I can see why this is a classic in the recovery field. The book reminded me to be kind to myself. Well worth reading.