Unbearable Lightness: A Story of Loss and Gain

I finished reading the memoir in a day after watching Portia's interview on Ellen. This is not a "how to" manual of any sort, as other reader's suggest. This memoir is a troubling account of a disease that consumed a very talented and beautiful woman for nearly two decades. I have never dealt with an eating disorder of my own but I've witnessed several friends delve into that terrority and others dive in head first until they are drowning in it. From watching the interview, I knew that the book doesn't focus on the passing of her father. The author is only now trying to come to terms with his death after years of struggling with anorexia and bulemia.While this book is not a guide on recovery, it is a true, honest account of how someone that the world views as beautiful and successful struggles with self image, doubt and feelings of inadequacy. Perhaps, I enjoyed this book so much because of how much the interview with Ellen touched me. This is clearly not another celebrity on a tour of self promotion looking to enhance their celebrity status. This is a woman who wrote a book as a way to accept and heal from years of battling with disease. The book does not try to win your sympathy. In fact, it doesn't try to do anything other than honestly tell a story of how the author's perception of will power, self control and self doubt consumed her into a life that nearly killed her.The book never pretends to be a tell all tale of life on the Ally McBeal set. I think Portia has too much class to comment on the other actors she has worked with. After all, it didn't matter what set she was on or which camera she was in front of. Her quest and demand for perfection warped her sense of being and clouded all rational thought during the difficult time in her life.I believe Portia is very brave. Her detailed account of her own body and her comments on the bodies of those she scrutinized as part of the disease are nothing more than brutally honest. She never pretends that her scrutiny was reserved for herself. To do so, or avoid the topic entirely, would be a lie.We live in a society where Spanx are sold in extra small and jeans can be a size 00. How can someone's size be less than zero? How can someone that is categorized as an extra small need to feel that they have to hold in their stomach with an uncomfortable, albeit flattering, piece of spandex? So called "normal" people are held to a standard barely attainable without a nutritionist, personal trainer and live in chef. Actresses are held to an even higher standard considering they have the means to obtain a nutrionist, trainer and chef. Models are 14 years old and prepubescent. Some will never even menstruate because of the starvation practices they inherit as part of the job. On the other end of the spectrum, people in this country are morbidly obese. We are a nation consumed by food. We are either consumed by what we can't have and when we can't have it or consumed by fast food and larger than life portion sizes.Though the book doesn't focus on recovery, one of the truest passages comes during the brief description of Portia's relationship with her girlfriend Francesca. It was from this relationship that her toxic relationship with food began to change. She no longer saw food as something she had to devour now because she wasn't going to get any more of it for a long while. She learned that food is to be enjoyed in moderation and that it will always be around. It stopped being a now or never phenomenon.Does Portia pretend to be completely healed? No, she claims to be better. I hope writing this book not only helped her but also helps so many others. I think any woman, with or without an eating disorder, can relate in some way to what is described in this book. If someone as beautiful and talented as Portia can succumb to the pressures of perceived beauty in today's society than the rest of us are surely susceptable as well. Thank you, Portia.

What an emotional head-trip Portia de Rossi’s memoir is. By the time I finished reading it, I was both glad the novel had stopped and so very thankful I’ve never had anorexia, bulimia, or cared about dieting. Having a choking phobia and being concerned with carbohydrate totals because of an autoimmune disease is bad enough thanks. I’m exhausted out of sympathy for all those who go through this, or a similar experience to Portia’s journey, as I imagine they must be truly exhausted.Knowing all of this happened and someone went through such an experience, as well as Portia’s struggle with accepting her sexuality, made it both easy and difficult for me to read. On the one hand; I’m so happy I was able to finish this in three days. I know if I had of taken a week or more then it would have messed with my head too much. Her tale and how she shares it digs deep into you and once those hooks are in… I’d be amazed if you felt no sympathy or pain for her whatsoever.Her struggle with bulimia and anorexia, her goal of reaching her unrealistic ideal, was obviously such an obsession for her and that obsession seeps through her words and is something you can’t avoid. When the story started to get really deep into the nitty gritty of her obsession that was when I found myself wanting to get away from it the most. I think if you’re not careful or have been having the same issues yourself, you might find your day-to-day life being influenced by reading Portia’s experience.On the other hand, even with my natural inclination of wanting to get away from so much negativity and tunnel vision, Unbearable Lightness was extremely easy to read and hard to put down. Portia has such a talent in getting you to relate and at times to feel her pain, it really is quite hard not to be won over and engrossed. I have read several comments in other reviews and in general ones about the book when it comes to editing though. Sure, there should probably be another editor or more editing, but in the end the story comes across feeling as though Portia is personally relating to you how she lived, breathed, and obsessed in those years of struggle.I have, and do have, problems with eating, but I’ve never had anorexia or bulimia. My eating difficulties are not connected to concerns of weight (unless I want to put it on because I am and feel underweight) and being accepted for my weight, so while I could connect on some level with Portia’s anxiety, fear, and rituals, struggling with weight is something I’m unfamiliar with and made it hard for me to relate.What I related to the most was her fear of her sexuality being exposed. The whole story made me want to cry, I was teary by the end of it, but her shame and fear stemming from being gay was just… I would say sexual orientation sucked, but really it’s society that does with something like this. Society, YOU SUCK. YOU SUCK HARD.No matter how much Portia has come to terms with everything and how great it was to actually read about it (not the whole journey of recovery, but the difference between her earlier thoughts and her far more happier ones), I still find myself so emotionally battered that I must do something nice for myself. It’s one of those types of stories, but it was definitely worth reading.

I have so much sympathy for Portia de Rossi having gone through all of this. It's really heartbreaking to read. However, I don't think she has particular talent for writing. I wouldn't really expect a very high standard of writing from a model/ actress writing about personal experience but it's not just the style of the writing or the fact that it's such a harrowing subject...it's sort of hard to explain but it's more like a description of her behaviour without much insight. What insight there is seems reeled off from therapy. I understand why she went into such detail about her eating habits and rituals but I don't think it was necessary to reiterate this so much throughout the book. At one point she mentions rereading the bell jar and I thought maybe this explains the nasty undertone in the narrative, but I was surprised how much of a dislikable impression I had of Portia de rossi by the end. I understand that she needed to give her real thoughts and opinions especially about being overweight but there is too much criticism and even nastiness towards overweight people in this book. It's hurtful and unnecessary. The overall impression I got was of a shallow, narcissistic person who judges herself very harshly but also other people. She seems to believe she is better than everyone else or that she should be which is basically the same. What's in this book could have been condensed into a magazine article. If you suffer from ED you won't necessarily identify with this story. If you are a fan of Portia de rossi, you may not necessarily enjoy this book..or learn anything from it. Basically it's hard to know what to do with this. It is not to be enjoyed, it's too painful and sad but it's not really informative abouts eds in general because it's too personal and it's not just a biography because the subject is too specific.

As someone dieting and beginning to glamorise anorexia and bulimia, this book was great. To be frank, I initially wanted to read it to encourage myself to be more disorderly / get tips, but it turned into an engrossing journey through pain and recovery. It solved a few mental problems for me to watch someone else take what I was beginning to explore to the extreme.I related to Portia and wanted everything like she had it, I even ordered the Banana Republic trousers she bought at the beginning of the book. What I wasn't expecting was her profound recovery at the end, and her realising to be healthy would convince me to be healthy too.I'm so glad this book is widely available and highly urge anyone on any diet / weight loss journey to read it as a precaution.

Who doesn't love the perfect lesbian couple, Portia and Ellen? If you're thinking this is going to be a cuddly little fable of them falling in love, think again. This is Portia's story of struggling with body image issues and anorexia whilst hiding her sexuality. Ellen barely features at all.I read a LOT of books, sometimes several a week. This took me several months to read as it was really hard going. I had to keep on dipping in and out. It's well written and Portia's intelligence shines off the pages...it's just that it's so flipping depressing at times! The fact that someone so clearly gorgeous as Portia could believe the things she believes about herself in this, is really sad. Also, I personally would have liked a bit more emphasis on her recovery, rather than her obsession with portion size.If you've ever struggled like Portia clearly did or want to understand anorexia, then this is the book for you. If not, you should probably look elsewhere...

I can't explain the courage it must have took for Portia to not only write this book, but publish it, share it with the world, and then go on TV and talk about it and promote it. It's a raw account of her past struggles with eating disorders and weight/body image, which she has thankfully now overcome. I think the honesty in this book is brutal - at times it almost feels like too much, but I'm glad that she shared it all, with all the gritty, grotty details. I think it gives a really clear, really humanised picture of what it is to have an eating disorder or struggle with your weight or body image or self-worth.I feel like this book should be a must-read for all teenage girls, and for most women in fact. You don't even need to have a particularly strong interest in the subject of eating disorders, and you don't need to have experienced once, to relate to parts of this book. She talks about the way the media portrays women, the way women look at other women and at themselves in terms of image, and there is a real behind-the-scenes angle on how TV personalities live. Anyone who watched Ally McBeal should definitely read this book from cover to cover. So should anyone who reads glossy magazines, anyone who has a daughter, anyone who is a big TV or celebrity fan, anyone who has low self-esteem, and anyone who is fed up of all the crap the media and clothes manufacturers and the modeling industry feed us on a daily basis.

This is an exceptional book. It is raw, vulnerable and brutally honest. It is beautifully written and so readable that you can't put it down. It moved me to tears on several occasions and contained a very powerful message regarding the importance of self-acceptance. Despite this message, the book is neither preachy nor smug - quite the contrary. Portia de Rossi offers such rare honesty that she provides true insight into the anorexic mind, helping the reader to understand the causes, the motivations, the symptoms, the highs and lows, the side-effects, the difficulties in recovering, and the benefits of doing so. She exposes that which most sufferers of eating disorders do their utmost to hide, and in so doing, she also exposes the myth perpetuated by Hollywood that thinness is glamourous. This book does not glamourise anything. It does not leave you feeling inspired to renew your dieting efforts and follow in her footsteps. Instead, it reveals the pain that causes, and is caused by, eating disorders, and offers wisdom on how to move forward and break the cycle.The intelligence, honesty, bravery, humour and insight of this book make it a gripping, moving and inspirational read. I cannot recommend it too highly.