It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand

This book saved my life. So real and honest, made me feel less alone.

I truly adored Megan Devine's book - I listened to it on Audible & narrated by herself too immersed in the heartbreaking grief process over the tragic death of her partner Matt. I found this extremely moving and a very connecting book when I myself have been surrounded by certain people who have never really suffered trying to offer me consolation and then end up wrongly judging and terribly hurting/torturing me and like Megan says - you really don't need these type of people anymore - my life is not an aberration outside of there so-called 'perfect' lives of happiness. I live with mountainous traumatic grief levels of my whole life being blown to smithereens for decades - I've had people say "You should be getting to grips with your suffering now" - How on earth could I ever be that exactly !? Megan' truly lovely book knows that Grief isn't a problem to fix and it wasn't traumatic events we asked for and I wholeheartedly agree that myself living Complex-PTSD on a very profound level & Severe M.E that I may never ever be OK - Megan' book provides much-needed companionship when in an emotionally illiterate world of platitudes and wrong judgements. "Walking on the skins of ruins" because we must tragically be with our Grief and our traumatic loss we must live with continually and we mustn't be pathologised in our grief it isn't something to get over. Megan writes beautifully on humans showing actual kindness & compassion showing us Love in the Wildest Form in an obliterated universe outside of the Cult of Happiness and intimacy of the greatest kind embracing us within our disappearance. No Grief is empirically the same so finding companionship with other grief survivors who can offer the best of empathy articulation of our daily lives and that each of our collective paths can be divergent. I hate the phrase 'This Too Shall Pass' so it was refreshing when listening to Megan' very heartbreaking narrative of grief & loss that she herself is also a dislike of derisory positions on our lives. Fantastic narration by Megan Devine and a book to truly treasure because when someone like Megan truly provides a universal consideration of Grief so very poignant to listen to and one that I truly believe in then it stands out and it is a book I'll always cherish because it structures our lives when everything else has crumbled.

I was so glad to find this book after I lost my dad. I would particularly recommend for atheists/humanists/agnostics. I don’t know the author’s philosophical persuasion and that was part of what was really accessible about it for me. I found some other grief support literature had a spiritual/religious hue that didn’t really appeal to me. There are also great resources attached to the book like the Refuge in Grief website (I have visited for articles numerous times), the author’s social media, and a Write Your Grief course that I found to be a tremendous complement to the book. I think it’s the tone of the book I appreciated more than anything. It’s sensitive but real and calls out things that need to be called out in society’s approach to grief. For me, it helped give a context to and take the edge off some of the disappointing behaviours of people around you when you are bereaved. Grief is a journey I wish nobody was on but if you find yourself forced there this is a thoughtful book that will companion you through a heart-wrenching experience.

A totally different slant on the emotional feelings bereavement generates, offering the view that bereaved people clearly do not feel okay and that this temporary state however long is to be expected and is therefore ‘okay’ to journey through. This opinion can be a challenge but never the less thought provoking... but perhaps this Title should not be the only book on bereavement in a bereaved persons arsenal.

This book literally saved my life/ after losing my mum my mental health spiralled out of control and I couldn’t see a way out, I was self sabotaging trying to go over what happened over and over again scared that if I stopped crying my mum would think I didn’t love her enough. Truth is I had all these expectations of what grief looked like or what people expected of me and this book gave me the freedom and the knowledge to go on my own journey and let go of what other people may think. It helped me to organise my thoughts about grief, how to cope, how other people deal with it and what the journey might look like and it was bang on the money... I have since purchased this 4 times to give to friends and family who have sadly lost someone and they have all said the same. If this book was given to teenagers or taught in schools this country wouldn’t have such a mental health crisis related to grief. Honestly the best money I’ve EVER spent!

I've been gifted, loaned and purchased many grief books in the two years since my son died. I can honestly say that none of those texts resonated with me and the truth of my grief experience more than Megan Devine's new book. She is a credible source of useful information, bringing not only her educational and occupational background to bear but more importantly her own life experience with deep loss and a broken culture. Above all, she is a truth teller and an advocate you'll want in your grief space. The beauty of this book is the universal insights it offers for EVERYONE who has experienced deep grief or desires to genuinely support another in their loss. The author outlines a refreshing take on grief for the reader's consideration, one where acknowledgment and a desire to love better are critical components in supporting ourselves and each other following a significant loss (ie. death, accident, illness, etc.) She adeptly explains the model's concepts in lay terms, provides numerous examples for better understanding, and recommends practical exercises that one can use to help identify and manage the impact of grief. The quotes from her writing students are especially relevant and poignant. I found Megan's work validating and thought-provoking, especially concepts such as her broader definition of "early grief", common platitudes (and why I feel their adverse affect), the critical distinction between pain and suffering (and how to minimize latter), grief as an experiment rather than a problem to be solved, and the vital role of acknowledgment and companionship in creating a way forward. One of my favorite sections is the appendix, an essay on helping a grieving friend, which offers carefully-crafted and readily shareable ground rules for supporting a loved one. I'd recommend reading this book if you or a loved one are in the midst of deep grief and looking for validation, guidance, and honesty in a post-loss world. This book, and especially the associated resources available at refugeingrief.com, are powerful tools for navigating your grief landscape with love and understanding. It's permission to grieve in your way and in your time ... and this has made all the difference in my own post-loss landscape.

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Really nice book needed for a person who is going through a period called grief .

a book not to be missed, which should be translated into all languages, a guide for grief unique in the world.

Sollte jede:r mal gelesen haben!! Sehr sehr gutes Buch