The Covert Passive-Aggressive Narcissist: Recognizing the Traits and Finding Healing After Hidden Emotional and Psychological Abuse (The Narcissism Series)

Informative but has some noticeable & distracting typos later in the chapter. Editor did not do a stand up job. It is like they accidentally put the wrong narcissistic labels. If you read intently as I did from chapters 1-3, then you will notice it later on when the labeling changes. I had to go back and check myself a few times and realized I was right.Because I read so intently, I was able to make the correction in my head & on the pages. I worry that a mistake like this for someone trying to learn can be detrimental.Overall, spot on understanding of relationship with a COVERT narcissist. Excellent read!

This book was full of useful information for anyone who finds themselves in the unfortunate, but opportune position of needing to read it. I say “unfortunate, but opportune” because being the target of narcissism (overt or covert) is a unique opportunity to use an incredibly painful and heartbreaking experience as an impetus for developing a greater sense of self-love and self-trust. The author presents the information in an easy to digest format, and it often feels as if the reader is being advised by a loving and caring friend. I’m grateful for this author and for her work, and I’m sending lots of love and light to all who have had to seek it to aid in their healing.

Great read on the healing journey

Well, as a guy it might seem strange to hear that I was married to a narcissistic person because most of the time, the narcissism is from a male victimizing a female. Thats just usually what I have learned happens. But, I am guessing that there are tons more covert narcissistic people out there that are female and its not usually recognized. So, this book was an eye opener. I knew for years she (ex) had passive aggressive problems but never understood the disdain, even hatred, towards me and blaming me and projecting onto me traits that no one else could see (except those she influenced, I.E. our kids). Eventually when I caught her in a bunch of lies about another man and the marriage imploded, then I knew that I needed help to figure out if it was me or her. In some sense its always both, but in this case the victimization was clear because I was not the one lying and having secret relationships and then saying there was nothing wrong with that. So, the book has helped me tons in recognizing that you can get through a divorce and then find someone that is healthy, and YOU can be healthy as well. I recommend this book, and CoDependency No More amongst others, but also say GET THERAPY AND COUNSELING from a real therapist. Books will help you only so much, but along with books--getting a good person to talk to (therapist who specializes in narcissism like I did) to get through it is a must. Cant overstate that.Why a "4" star for the book? I say this in part because it comes off at first and even from the cover/title that this is a "professional" book by a therapist and if I was the one writing and publishing it--I would couple this book with a solid therapeutic/clinical authors thoughts too. This book, however its more from a personal perspective from what I can see where Ms. Mirza talks about what she has learned with her own experiences. The fact that she is a "life coach" means she isnt a therapist and she expressly says this in the book and on her FB group as well. The bottom line is if you read this, make sure you follow up your reading with counseling and therapy from someone who actually knows what narcissism is and not someone just floating the catch term/phrase about as an author or "counselor" or whomever. Gaslighting and narcissism are hot topics these days and in some sense the latest and greatest psychological fad as well. Previously it was "co-dependency" and the books written about that have come under fire after more research has been done on if it is even a "real" thing. Take what is written here from her perspective as someone who went through something bad, not once but a few times, and take what you can from it. But this isn't a DSM type of book where you find concrete therapeutic evidences from testing etc. It comes from a personal perspective and her own research, and there's quite a few books like this online.I, myself was a counselor for years stuck in a dysfunctional marriage and family system that I brought upon myself in many ways. The bottom line for me was realizing that when the lying and cheating started, I did nothing to stop it but say "hey, stop doing that" which for my ex wife--she could have cared less. That's narcissism 101, its all about me and I can make whatever excuse for hurting someone else look like I'm the victim, not them. My mistake: not packing my bags like the first therapist told me to when he had told me during counseling "you know, I married a woman just like your wife". When I asked him what he did to resolve the issues this was his answer: "I divorced her". I was too intimidated and shell shocked to do what I needed to do: not only say "no" but follow it up with actions and an appropriate response to being cheated on and lied to for years. I was weak and a coward.Books like this one are to give the reader strength and to get some kind of perspective on how another person has went through what you are going through, but its not a clinical book per se its an empathetic book that says "you are not alone".Be careful getting on social media as well with "support groups". How many of those I joined in response to reading this book to find that they were filled with hateful people and at times predators who were mentally ill. Get help. Real help. Use these stories and others like them to give some comfort to the fact you're not alone in this.

Update: My earlier review below was a little bit critical. Reading it now, geez, did I write that? After having time to deal with a huge dose of this crap last year this book was an enormous help. I nailed several of these people last year including my sister and mother who have been turning people against me since I was a kid. Finally they showed everyone their true colors and I know them for the absolute trash they are. This book had a huge positive impact on my life and saved me from the horrible things they had planned for me. Thank you so very much!I never knew how much they hated me.This is a decent introduction to the topic but as another reviewer stated, it’s missing a couple of primary attributes for narcissistic behavior. From what is presented I think it would be easy for a lot of people to confuse covert narcissism with some of the things normal couples deal with in a relationship. Some people just pack around a lot of negativity and that comes out in time especially if someone else being constantly present is upsetting to them in any way. Sometimes it simply stems from their own discontent with themselves and it is hurtful but devaluing you isn’t the reason. Sometimes the worst things do present themselves and there is really no sinister plan to charm, devalue and discard. I will keep what I’ve learned in this book close to heart but in no way would I recommend it to someone as a definitive and conclusive authority on covert narcissism.

This book has been so validating in my healing journey and I highly recommend it to anyone questioning if the idea of a CN applies to their situation. I can’t say enough good things

Debbie Mirza’s book helped me to give myself permission to see the truth of my own marriage, and to begin the process of breaking free.And the things she says about the healing process and what might help in that process are also very helpful.

Great book to uncover and f understand toxic relationships

Zeer goede boek over Covert Narsissist, leest makkelijk eis zeer boeiend, natuurlijk voor mensen die geïnteresseerd zijn i dit thema s

This book will help you to value yourself again, in spite if your attachment to the narcisist in your life!

OMG, this book is shockingly eye-opening, confirming, explaining the love bombing, confusion, and discard. The tactics that you probably weren't aware of that are in their "toolbox" used against you... The feelings of disbelief, self-doubt, maybe being a CN yourself, blaming yourself. All i can say is that this book is a MUST MUST read. Yes, it hurts, makes you angry, sad, crying when you have experienced these insidious wrecking behaviors from ms or mrs charming. It is an emotional rollercoaster, but this book is also comforting you're not alone, and once you see it, you know what to do for self-protection, and you will grow stronger!

Livro bem completo e esclarecedor. Existem poucos livros sobre narcisistas encobertos, a maioria fala sobre os somaticos, então esse livro trouxe muitas informações valiosas a respeito. Recomendo.