No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline Without Shame Paperback – September 18, 2014

Janet Lansbury works with children and parents to help correct behavior issues and produces the “No Bad Kids” podcast. Her philosophy of childhood psychology and parenting follows that of Magda Gerber, the founder of RIE (Resources for Infant Educarers). The advice and knowledge contained in this book serves as a helpful guide for parents of any child, even those without serious behavior issues. My children are both very young (1 and 3) and generally well-behaved, but I found this book extremely helpful for many reasons.First and foremost, NO BAD KIDS provides perspective on why children (especially toddlers) behave as they do and what they are trying to communicate by their behavior. They are not adults and their brains do not work in the same way adult brains do. Toddlers are basically controlled by their emotions and feelings and easily become overwhelmed. They have trouble communicating clearly and are often frustrated by this limitation. This book is a great help in gaining some understanding of what it must be like as a toddler, which alone helps a parent have more patience and sympathy with outrageous and ridiculous behavior.Many important lessons are imparted in this book. One is that parents shouldn’t be afraid or put-off by tantrums, whining, or crying. By trying to see things from a child’s point of view a parent can gain an important perspective. Acting like little brats is an effective way to communicate feelings and emotions and parents should try hard to understand and interpret the intended communication. While it is obviously annoying to deal with troublesome kids, we should try our hardest not to let it make us resentful, which can lead to other negative feelings towards your children, whom obviously need to know that they are loved and cherished. Landbury also emphasizes the importance of logical and clear boundaries when dealing with kids. Consistency and resolve in parents help kids feel safe. They want adults to be in charge but need to challenge us to develop a clear picture of how they fit into the world. Calm, confident, and resolute are the attributes parents should strive for. Don’t allow yourself to argue with your kids, just tell them what you are doing and why. It is good to explain why things are happening as they are, but not to plead for understanding.Much of the material in this book sounds easy in theory but is extremely difficult in practice. Not getting rattled by a ridiculous-acting toddler and keeping calm while being embarrassed by a tantruming kid in public seems impossible, but just the recognizing what the ideal interaction would look like helps in controlling our own emotions when difficult situations arise.I wholeheartedly recommend this book to parents of toddlers, regardless of whether they have behavior issues. All toddlers act out at some level and having the knowledge contained in this book will be a help to any parent.

This is a must-read for any young parent or parent of a toddler. I found Lansbury's book through her website, which I found from a colleague. As a licensed mental health professional, this respectful, communicative approach to discipline and respect for your child speaks volumes to me. It just makes sense.As a parent, I also subscribe to much of Maria Montessori's philosophy, and RIE (the parenting philosophy developed by Magda Gerber that this book is based on) are very similar. In many ways, Montessori and RIE compliment each other. I've read texts by both Gerber and Montessori directly, and I must say that Janet Lansbury's books are more practically helpful. While Gerber and Montessori's original texts are very inspiring philosophically, what I appreciate about Lansbury's book are the practical examples. There's a bit of a "script" that she reiterates throughout the book that I find incredibly valuable.The book isn't perfect, however. I do wish it was more carefully edited. I've read Lansbury's blog, and many of the best posts are in the book - I haven't read her blog extensively, so perhaps the entire book is simply a print version of her blog. While I love her conversational writing voice, there are a few typos (it's "such-and-such" not "such-in-such"), and areas where I wish she had expanded (a good editor would have helped here). A few of the chapters were simply examples and I would have appreciate a bit more insight from Lansbury herself, rather than being left to infer the message/meaning simply from reprinting other parent's letters (remember, we're exhausted, sleep-deprived parents of toddlers reading this! We need simplicity and repetition!). Other than these nit-picky issues, I find this to be an invaluable book. I will be reading and re-reading this book in the few years to come. Highly recommended to any parent or caregiver of a toddler!

I think this is the first book I've read that has actually given me a helpful mindset. I've taken my 3yr old toddler son to see specialists and none of them were very helpful. Putting the strategies of this book into practice has already started improving my son's behavior. If you have a toddler that struggles with hitting, kicking, biting and scratching then this is a book you need.

Everyone’s parenting journey is different, because every child, mother, father and home is unique and special. I don’t believe there’s one blanket solution for everyone- but after I found this book- it changed my life, it changed my relationship with my toddler and kids, and I have shared it multiple times with other parents and they’ve always told me that they had the same results!I haven’t patented a toddler since 2015 and I just recently picked this book back up because Ruby has entered her toddler stage.I recommend this book for all parents with toddlers and older kids. I also recommend the book Elevated Childcare as well. Life with my littles isn’t exhausting, or challenging after embracing what I’ve learned with these books!

Easy to read and easy to digest, the book is going to be a staple in parenting that I will read often.

Lots of useful advice, every chapter focuses on a specific aspect of parenting, no vague information. Found it extremely useful and could see improvements in parenting since day one.

Loved this book. Easy to read, clear, great examples, easy to put into practice, and has a great impact on your relationship with your toddler (a 2 year old in my case). Much easier to get her dressed, changed, into the car seat (sort of) etc. Be warned though - once you start parenting this way, you may notice that your own parents, grandparents etc., do things very differently and over-rely on distraction techniques to avoid meltdowns. You can have fun deciding whether to let them continue (threatening your great work) or gently suggesting a different way (storms will start brewing, this will NEVER be forgotten and mentioned at every family get together). Enjoy!

This book is wonderful. A super fast and easy read. Janet Lansbury provides practical parenting advice along with examples that can be implemented immediately. I love her respectful parenting approach and the discipline advice she gives is effective and works quickly. We've only read the book about 1 month ago and have seen some really great changes in our 3 y.o son as well as the way we parent. Would recommend for any parent.

Este libro y las técnicas que te propone me han salvado de volverme loca con mi hijo “toddler”. Es una excelente lectura si eres padre o madre y quieres educar respetuosamente a tus hijos.

Excellent book, offers great advice on how to deal with typical toddler behaviour in a gentle and supportive way. This book really helps with understand your child’s behaviour and responding in a calm but supportive way. It really eases frustration surrounding every day tantrums, whining, throwing and other difficult behaviour.