Lost in the Mirror: An Inside Look at Borderline Personality Disorder

THE GOOD: As hard as it is to do so, I must admit that I did find some information in this book helpful. I liked his descriptions of DBT and EMDR, two long-term treatment approaches. I liked, in general, the way he constantly, throughout the book, points out specific behaviors and emotional pitfalls that we, as BPDs, must watch out for and try to correct. I also found some comfort in the generally soothing and compassionate tone in which the book was written.THE BAD: Unfortunately, this book is NOT for BPD men !!! I am aware that most BPDs are women, but does he mean to tell me "too bad", that I'm out of luck ??? Nowhere in the title, or the introduction, is there any mention of the fact that this book is intended only for women ! Once you get to reading a few pages, he suddenly and briefly mentions, like it's no big deal, that he intends to address only women in this book, and that male readers (like myself, who suffer from BPD) may try to replace the female pronouns in the book with male pronouns. That's the best he can do to accommodate male BPD readers !!! When I read that, I went "HUH ???!!! Are you kidding me ?". Then, he simply goes on writing with the assumption that the reader is female, and further assumes that the reader has been physically/sexually abused as a child. This flawed assumption forms the basis, and sets the theme/tone, for the entire book ! In other words, he intended to write this book for a subset of the world's BPD patients - women who were physically/sexually abused as a child, but couldn't be bothered with writing a title that reflects that. He couldn't care less if you're male or weren't abused as a child. For example, he'll talk about your "menstrual periods" and refer to your "male lovers", and assume your stereotypical female qualities. What if you're a guy ??? You have to skip that paragraph, and move on to the next paragraph, hoping that it's a bit more general than the previous one !Another flawed assumption is that you are someone who jumps from relationship to relationship. What if you're someone who has a hard time finding ONE partner ??? What if you're a loner like me ??? Well, you're out of luck...too bad ! I was NOT ABLE TO IDENTIFY with any of the characters in the book, and this was a HUGE disappointment for me. As BPD patients reading a BPD book, we all want to be able to identify with the characters being described in the book, and I was unable to do so, to the slightest extent, with this book.One other thing that made me VERY uncomfortable while reading this book, is that, while describing his female patients, he gives too much importance to details that make him seem unprofessional and almost perverted. For example, he seems to focus too much on the clothes worn by his (married) patients and how revealing they are and how seductive some of his patients are, describes his patients as though they are his lovers, and talks about some of their sexual encounters. It gives me the impression that he has fantasies of sleeping with his patients, and he is subtly expressing that in his book, through his descriptions of his patients. If he has fantasies, fine (he's only human...I get that), but why couldn't he leave them out of this book ?!!! This sort of thing persists throughout the material in the book, and made me feel VERY uncomfortable.About ME: I am male, 28 years old, have had BPD + Dysthymia for about 10 years now, loner ... very limited relationships with women and almost non-existent social life. Bullied horribly as a child, abused (emotionally and verbally) as a young adult by "family". Only recently discovered that I'm BPD and am looking for a book with compassion, that would address the general BPD sufferer population (including men !!!) - a book, that, as I was reading it, would make me feel as if it was talking to me. I was VERY disappointed with this book !Bottom line: This book is not for BPD men. Male BPD readers will be disappointed and feel discriminated against, although the title of the book does not suggest such a discrimination. If you are a female BPD who was abused as a child, this book is for you !!! Only a subset of the BPD population is addressed by this book.

"Lost in the Mirror" presents the experiences of a variety of clients through the imaginary character, Sara. Despite being a combination of discrete interactions in real life, the story of Sara flows smoothly from one subject area of BPD to the next. The book clearly describes the diagnostic criteria for BPD, while highlighting other diagnostic symptoms of the disorder through the narrative of Sara. This allows for both a empirical and emotional approach to the subject matter for the reader.Dr. Moskovitz also describes the popular therapies available and utilized to treat BPD. He also lightly touches upon the medications that might be added to treatment to ease anxiety, depression, and other Axis I disorders that could handicap therapy. I thought the chapter meant for therapists, friends and family of individuals coping with BPD was insightful, and whether the reader is the affected or the affecting, it is good to be reminded that clear boundaries and rules need to be established for everyone involved. Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing was an entirely novel approach for me. I had not heard about it before this book!The pages are clean and clear, and this is a very easy read. The text is direct and not overly romantic. I definitely recommend this book for individuals trying to get an efficient understanding of BPD, available treatments, and how it might affect others!

The Author obviously has spent a great deal of his practice working with BPD. I found it disconcerting that he as a therapist had such strong reactions to his patients. Unlike other reviewer's i didnt find him particularily sensitive to persons with BPD. In fact, i was a little upset that he seemed to blame some of his responses on their manipulations! I think he should have expected that . After all, their in treatment for a reason. The book reads like a badly written psychological novel and by no means are the example's he gives ( compliations) of many of his patients indicative of BPD. He tells us of two people and they are extreme examples and seemed to be cured quite easily and dramatically.Twenty five years ago, this book would have been a god send. Today its archaic to me. Please look at some of the newer books ( this was written in the early 90's i believe) most specifically, Overcoming borderline personality disorder which is cutting edge information on the disorder and is valuable to both the person struggling with it, and those who either love or treat that person.

I enjoyed reading this book although I felt like this was definitely geared more towards the newly diagnosed who were starting out at ground zero in terms of learning about the disorder. I really liked how the author had a section on naming and describing certain medication that can help reduce symptoms, as well as a section on how important good diet and exercise were, including the suggestion to abstain from alcohol/drugs.

I found this book after searching through the local library for something - anything - about BPD that was both informative and easy to read. As a person with BPD I found it to be written incredibly tactfully. This is the only source of information about BPD that I have found that has given me hope for the future. The combination of accessible information about treatment and narrative made it very engaging - there was never too much dry information without a relatable example to break things up and keep me invested.The only area which I can find to criticize is the focus on female patients. The author addresses this and explains the reason for his choice, but I still think it would be a slightly better book if female pronouns weren't used exclusively.

My verdict;Very good book, well written, easy to read (as in, not complicated) but very challenging personally and emotionally. Provides a good insightand feel of what Borderline Personality Disorder is, how it affects people, how it's typically caused, how you can begin unravelling the underlying issues which cause it.What this is/does;- It is a commentary of all the features of Borderline Personality Disorder. Each chapter has a theme; i.e. Borderline as a self defense mechanism, Self punishment as fear, ..etc. This theme is discussed along with case studies of how that chapters issue can manifest itself.- About half of the content is written as though TO someone with Borderline (e.g. "If you are Borderline you may feel.. " "This may be the result of your...") Therefore it may help you identify with your own symptoms- It gives a mixture of perspective from psychological, counselling and clinical psychiatric practice, but without lots of jargon or detailed theory, simply tells you how it is- One case is followed from beginning to conclusion in blocks throughout, and gives a good example of full-on Borderline issuesFor me as I read I began to understand the features and challenges of Borderline, and with that could begin to understand these traits and qualities in others.The style;- The voice of the text is like speaking to a psychiatrist or GP; it's precise, polite, but clinical - not unfeeling, but not emotive either. It just states how things areWhat this is not;- It's not a self help guide, there are no 'try this' lists, you have to come up with your own approaches from the understanding presented in the text- It's not a treatment prospectus either. The authors view is simply 'treat the patient, not their symptoms' - i.e. don't get caught up in trying to apply out of the box solutions, understand the particular issues the patient is experiencing (they can be complex multi-faceted) and approach accordingly.

This is a "sexy" look at what it is to be BPD. But for me, that's this book's strength. It takes a very hard to understand illness & presents it in a form that everyone can relate to. As many others have said, I felt like I was reading a book about myself. A book about what it is to live in my head, in my world. It's clear this guy has spent A LOT of time with us borderlines & understands our world very well.I have two issues with this book: Firstly, the fictional case study which runs through the book drove me INSANE. At times, I felt the writer was trying out his skills as a novelist & seemed almost self indulgent in his presentation of this fictional patient. I ended up skipping these bits by the end.My second issue was the way in which he seemed to skirt over some aspects of the disorder & give them a cursory nod at best. I suffer from chronic dissociation, which often renders me utterly unable to connect with the real world. I also suffer from auditory hallucinations when I'm under pressure. I felt that some of the diagnostic criteria, such as this one, were rushed through in order to focus on the "sexier", headline grabbing aspects of the disorder such as drink, drugs & sex. There's a lot more to being BPD than self harming & I would've liked a more even focus on the symptoms.All in all though, I'm very glad I read it & wouldn't hesitate to recommend it. I've leant it to many of my BPD friends who've all got a lot out of reading it.

After reading yet another book about BPD I still have the gnawing feeling that something is missing, that the author, albeit experienced and helpful, somehow missed to nail the core of the problem. This book is a helpful tool on the road to recovery and it teaches the BPD survivor valuable skills. In particular I was intrigued by the EMD ( eye movement desensitization) concept, to gain control of haunting past memories. I am going to try this. The case vignette which is used to describe the healing process with all its challenges and near-fatal mishaps is one of a severe BPD. The somewhat higher functioning, albeit emotionally just as troubled, people may find little relevance to themselves. I think the key message of the author is to use whatever technique is fitting to uproot the ingrained belief that a BPD sufferer is bad, as a way to end borderline suffering. The term borderline suffering is meant yo convey the terror of feeling bad and unworthy, in a world full of danger and cunning, hostile people that so many BPD sufferers inhabit. Overall not a bad first book about BPD to read but lacks depth for those who are well read in the subject and still seeking answers.

As someone who has BPD I found this book really helpful. Although obviously there were parts of it I identified with less, and also times I wanted to launch it across the room, after baring with it I managed to finish it and felt I learnt quite a lot about my illness. It is written by an american which means some of it is irrelevant, for example it has a section on hospitalisation. NICE guidelines in the UK strongly advise against hospitalisation for people with BPD as it's seen to be harmful more than helpful, so if hospitalised its more for problems occurring alongside BPD (psychosis etc.) However the majority of it I read with a highlighter in hand and recommended to my family as one I felt described my struggles a little. I would say it is really worth buying it as a tool to find out more about the condition, whether you have BPD, are a friend or family member, or just want to know a bit more. The four star is down to the bits that are not relevant here in the UK...

Read the book, it is straight to the point, understanding without being pitying or angry. Gives good advice on working with and living with those of us who have this disorder, how to protect your own sanity, without being angry and/or lecturing. I found it well written, but hard to read as it seemed to look straight into my eyes and said, I know who you are and why you do things even when you don't know and understand it yourself. I would recommend this book to anyone who have bpd, or are likely to come in close contact with someone who does, either through work or personal relationships.