Henry CloudChanges That Heal: Four Practical Steps to a Happier, Healthier You

If taken and applied to your personal life, this book is transformative and can enhance your relationships with yourself and others.

I second Josh McDowell's comment on the cover that this book has changed my life more than any other besides the Bible. I am now reading through it a second time with my family. I wish I had read this book twenty years ago.It has sections that discuss the balance of grace and truth, bonding, boundaries, good and bad, and being a mature adult. It has been used by the Lord to bring true freedom in my life, in which I am pursuing God out of love, not compulsion. There is much truth presented, but it is presented in love and brings hope.I have a notebook with things I am learning from 'Changes that Heal' from which comes the following: It confirmed my need for genuine relationships with other people - which I knew at some level before, but understand more fully now. It helped me identify healthy relationships and those which are not. Knowing what we are responsible for and what we are not is also very freeing. I feel empowered to be who I am without apology but also to recognize my weaknesses (without shame) and how to get better. I am still processing how we tend to separate good and bad in us and others and how that affects us, which has been key for me. 'Changes that Heal' also helped me see how adult relationships are intended to work and how feeling 'one up' or 'one down' to other adults (including parents and adult children) affects our relationships. It helped me understand the stages children go through and appreciate why teen years can be very difficult and their striving for independence. Dr Cloud also discusses in each section what happens when things go wrong, giving real examples of people affected and how they got better.I have purchased 10 copies of this book for friends and recommend it without reservation.

Really good book. Helpful not just in setting boundaries but also dealing with authority and learning to be yourself. This served as a good reminder for some things I've learned and also in learning new things here.Highly recommended it.

As a Christian, I found this book to be very helpful.

Through reading Dr. Cloud's well-written book, I've been able to understand that I'm responsible for "owning" what's mine (emotions, thoughts, actions, reactions, etc.). For example, I'm responsible for my happiness and for my reactions to the way others treat me. It also has shown me that I'm not responsible for what others "own"; my actions may cause someone's upset, but that upset is not my responsibility - it's theirs. It seems totally elemental - and it probably is to people who aren't carrying around injuries from their past. But if you come from a past that includes abuse of any kind (physical, emotional, mental, verbal, sexual, abandonment, neglect, etc.) it's harder to know where to draw the lines.Dr. Cloud's book clearly explains the importance of ownership, bonding and boundaries (both creating your own and respecting other's). There are examples that are relatable and the language is clear, concise and "plain English" - not a bunch of medical mumbo-jumbo.I highly recommend it to anyone who wants to live a life free of emotional and verbal clutter and unnecessary baggage. The Bible tells us in Matthew 5:37 to let our yes mean yes, and our no mean no - Dr. Cloud's book helped me to understand more clearly what this means.

I just completed reading this book! I cannot tell you how much this has changed my life, my outlook, my feelings and even lead me into faith. I did not know who God even was until I started to really read in this book and referencing the Bible. For such a long time I didn't feel seen, heard or even cared about. This book helped open all those doors and I started my path to healing. I have recommended it to every member of my blood family (I hope they read it) and I bought both the book and workbook for my boyfriend. ❤️ I feel like I can finally grow into an adult and recognize the talents and path I am supposed to be on. 10/10. Have and will continue to recommend. Thank you so much for this book. 💗

Great book that everyone should read, I already gifted it to a few people in my life.

Changes that Heal by Dr. Henry Cloud is an excellent resource helping readers do four things that, if left undone, can leave adults feeling stuck for years, never reaching mature adulthood. Cloud argues that adults most bond with others, separate from others, sort out issues of good and bad, and take charge as an adult. With Scriptural references, physiological research and helpful stories, Cloud guides his readers towards growth.

I recently came out of a bad relationship with a church, and I was having lots of trouble with everything I was taught there, so my therapist recommended I read this. And even tho I’m not yet through reading it, I can say it has helped immensely. I definitely recommend reading it.

Everyone should read this book!

Good

A must read book ...

This book has changed the way I view life and has given me hope for a better future through relating healthily to myself, God, and others.I actually passively enjoyed life attending boarding school and going to university until I encountered depression a couple of years ago at the age of 20. Since then, I've embarked on a journey to finding healing for the internal issues of my heart and mind.The revelation of the need for unity between 'grace and truth' in relationship has enabled me to see how past relationships and beliefs led to fear in relationships, shame, hiding in relationships. Dr. Cloud states honestly that grace without truth is license and only perpetuates immaturity, whilst truth without grace is judgement which only leads to fear, loss of connection, powerlessness. The unity of both however allows complete acceptance of the current state whilst truthfully confronting character issues that need to be dealt with in order to achieve greater emotional health and success in life. The realization that I have both these in Christ and can have them in healthy relationships with safe people, has given me hope for future relationships. This grace and honesty in love is the only thing that will bring safety and intimacy in emotional connection, which is the only thing that will heal and bring fulfillment and joy in our lives.The 'sorting out good and bad' section has challenged distorted beliefs that have been detrimental to the way I have related to the world. The realization of the reality that both good and bad co-exist in the world and people is allowing me to accept the way the world and people are. Of course this doesn't mean that we need to tolerate evil, but if something/someone 'misses the mark' one time, we don't have to judge or condemn them for their imperfection. I can learn to extend grace as opposed to exercising judgement which only leads to unforgiveness and resentment.This book really is like looking in a mirror - the insight and knowledge has led to a clear understanding of why I behave and act the way I do. It reveals the root issues of learned behaviour patterns, but also gives steps in dealing with these and reverting to healthy patterns that will lead to greater emotional health.I bought this book because I was desperate to step out of depression and into the abundant life Christ paid for us. I can honestly say that the wisdom in this book has given me tools that I know will lead to greater joy which is only found in healthy intimate connection with God and others. We were designed for relationship therefore it is the only place we will feel the most fulfilled and satisfied with life. I definitely have a lot more hope for a more healthily connected and joyful future now :)