The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers: The Secret to Increasing Joy and Trust with Your Teen

I first read "The Five Love Languages" for adults and it opened my eyes to a new world. I discovered how the way I was showing love to my husband really wasn't communicating love to him very effectively because MY love language was different than HIS. Then we had a family and my three boys became teenagers and surprise surprise it was a challenge! A friend suggested this book and I immediately was drawn in by it because the concept is the same. How I was trying to communicate love to each one of my three teen and tween boys was not being received how I meant it because their love languages were different than mine. Aargh! That meant I actually had to spend the time learning their love languages and trying to understand them. This was a new idea for me, especially since by then I was a single mom and all I could think about was surviving day to day, not really trying to figure out how each teen boy thought, processed and communicated. Raising young kids I had found to be pretty easy. Teens were another ballgame altogether! Fortunately this book drew the idea of the teenage love languages together for me very easily, and at least helped put me on the right track. I started talking to each of my boys about how they thought and communicated, what they liked and didn't, and we even did the teen love language test together! They thought it was stupid, but we laughed about it and it was helpful! The five languages are, of course, the same as for adults: words of affirmation, physical touch, gifts, acts of service and quality time. I learnt that one of my sons absolutely did not like to be touched but valued when I did things for him (acts of service). I learnt that another really valued quality time even if we didn't talk much. A third needed words of affirmation and negative words tore him apart. Amazing - my languages are words of affirmation and gifts, so there was a lot of miscommunication going on! We started to establish some family rules, and, amazingly, things began to change.I wrote in another review about teenage boundaries that my oldest two teenagers just left home this year. One started college last Fall and the other graduated HS this spring and started a full-time job for a year before he goes to college. They have grown into amazing young adults, and every time I see them they seem to be maturing more. Not everything I did was wrong - something was right, and we're STILL communicating, which is incredible and definitely thanks in part to this book! My youngest son, almost 16, is in full-blown teen years and I'm about to read this book again. Plus I now have two teenage stepdaughters and I've seen that there's a chapter here for blended families which is going to be absolutely invaluable.In short, this is an incredible book and well worth the investment of time and money. Learning to communicate with your teens reaps rewards not only during the younger teenage years, but on through their young adulthood and I'm sure well into the future. In my opinion, it's fairly easy to raise young children, but teenagers are the greatest challenge ever presented to the modern parent given everything we and they face today. This book will help you navigate those years and help you stay in touch with the greatest gift you have been given - your kids!

I bought this book after reading the 5 love languages as I have a son that is almost a teenager. This is a must read for any parent with an up and coming teenager as it really does help you better connect with them and understand their love language to ensure their love tank is full. When their love tank is full they really do behave better and are a lot more respectful!

Helpful book by a great author

help avoid some unnecessary conflict, must read for any teenage parents

This is a great book to read if you have a teenager or pre-teen since those hormones and tendencies are already there. My teenager had to do a class that included this book and was able to articulate their love languages. I read this book and understand better now what translates to love for a child may not be the same thing as a parent, especially priority-wise. Example - Affection may be love language to the parent, but the teenager may prefer positive encouragement or affirmations versus hugs and pats. I think it's a great way to bridge the gap and love on your teenagers. Teenagers can be difficult, as I know personally, but they especially need to be loved on by their families in the ways they will accept it (read the book) since they are going through tremendous growth, hormone bursts, self-esteem and identity issues and more to get them through it.This book is an easy read and well worth it if you are looking to better communicate and bond with your teenager, making sure their needs are met. You can also share your needs with them as well so they understand and respect that, i.e. if a parent has a tendency to want to hug and the teen isn't overly fond of it, there can be a compromise between them. :)

I love the tone of this book. The author comes across well, with the whole goal being to get to know our teens at the heart level.I found myself wanting to see my kids in this same light, as wonderful people God positioned in my life for me to know and interact with. Just that part would have made this book worthwhile. It really did help to change my heart toward them.There were some areas where I felt entitled to respect from them, but those thoughts were dashed as I realized I owe them only love. The author also addressed every question that came up, such as, "Isn't that indulgent?" "What about discipline?" "If I just love them, won't they walk all over me?" Those questions proved I just didn't understand the meaning of the word Love. These questions were particularly answered in the chapters about acts of service and gifts, two love languages that can easily be misused by both parents and teenagers. I learned some things I'd never thought of, such as making a ceremony out of gift giving, in order for it to be accepted as a gift rather than just something a son or daughter is entitled to. About acts of service, I appreciated the advice to serve, all the while explaining what we are doing, so that they will never misunderstand and think they are entitled to acts of service, and also that they will not miss what we are doing is expressing love.Something else that was new to me, and I hadn't counted on, was the moodiness of teenagers. I didn't know that was common and that it will be outgrown. I know, I should have known, I was obviously one at one time, but I missed the obvious, and had some aha moments personally, when I read this book. I hadn't known that there is no need to be offended or intimidated by these moody spells, but to lovingly address the person just as if they were not.There was a whole chapter devoted to finding out our teens' love languages, and even how they might have changed dialects by growing up.The book is up to date, acknowledging that there are cell phones and electronics, and how this affects today's teens so much more than the previous generation.The reason I don't give it five stars is because I thought the author could have used more examples of interests kids could have. So many of the examples and suggestions involved either peer relationships, homework, or sports, all areas where I thought kids would be displaying false personalities. I would have liked to read more examples about family activities in the home, where everyone tends to be more like themselves, and where the reality of their life will lie as soon as they graduate from school. It could also be that we are farming, and our lifestyle is very home centered instead of business trip/9 -5 hours oriented, and I just couldn't relate to those examples. Anyway, that small concern didn't take much away from a great book, There is so much wise advice here, that we could easily fill in our own examples from our life. This is a book I'm glad to have in my library and one that I will read again.