The Myths of Happiness: What Should Make You Happy, but Doesn't, What Shouldn't Make You Happy, but Does

It's handy to know the logic for human beings to feel happy or unhappy.By knowing that, I can try to be happier intentionally.

This book is a definitive guide to what science currently knows about the real actions that make us happy, written in an accessible way with practical advice on how to apply the activities in our own lives. Building on the excellent "The How of Happiness" the path to happiness remains as counter intuitive as ever.The Myths of Happiness addresses that most modern world problem of "when I...". Many people seem to live under the illusion that they will be happy "when I...have the right partner/family/job/home/money/health in my life". Yet as this book so ably demonstrates if we follow this approach to life we will spend out lives seeking the end of the rainbow only to be disappointed. This effect is often known as the hedonic treadmill because no matter how much we have do or achieve happiness remains at least one step or more out of reach. Sonja provides us with with numerous proven ways to step off the treadmill and enjoy what we have now.This is a book aimed at anyone who wants to be happier in their own life and has an accessible and practical tone rather than a pure emphasis on research - and is all the better for that approach. All the research is listed for those who want to look more deeply at the studies referenced.A few of the counter intuitive actions that make us happy include:- maintaining novelty (doing new and exciting things together) can revitalise our current relationships and jobs rather than looking for a fresh start which tends to fade more quickly as we adapt to the new conditions.- progress toward an important goal is more satisfying than achieving the goal itself.- money can't make us happy but how we spend money can help, especially is we buy experiences rather than things (also see the excellent Happy Money by Elizabeth Dunn and Michael Norton for more detail on this).- Our ultradian rhythm helps explain why our energy and enthusiasm peaks and dips about every 9-120 minutes throughout the day.- Those who focus on internal desires and motivation are happier than those who use social comparison and external motivators.Sonja stands out in the field of happiness because she acknowledges and draws on her own childhood experiences that real life can be tough and present seemingly endless challenges. She is clear that no money can be miserable but also that so many of us do not seem to appreciate just how much we do have.Above all Sonja has a remarkable gift in making proven research accessible and practical for all and the world a happier and more compassionate place as a result.

I’ve enjoyed reading this book…….it refers to very simple practices to tap into that can really help find joy in the blessings already present in your life!

the first book was much better. I wouldn't recommend it

I bought this book with little expectations. Many books written by psychologists contain little practical advice and lose themselves in details that will often be interesting for experts in the respective field, but much less so for the casual reader.I am no expert and neither do I claim to be one, but I can say with certainty that this book helped me making sense of my own expectations about certain things in life. I now try and take a step back before judging a decision that would have affected my mood a lot more negatively otherwise.Some of the advice did come in handy in my marriage and other passages make for great donner conversations with friends and family.Overall, I think this is an excellent read and I gladly recommend it to not only the experts, but also the casual reader.

One of the first things this book says is that basically getting the things you want won't make you happy. Including having kids. Sorry, as soon as I had my son my severe depression went away because I was finally happy and my life had meaning. So no, this book is a bunch of lies and I didn't read any further than that.